What I do:
Nikiwax Tech Wash for Gore Tex or any DWR (durable water repellent) gear. For non-waterproof gear I use normal laundry detergent. I run an extra rinse cycle to get all the detergent out & let it drip dry. No fabric softener.
If it’s waterproof gear, I throw it in the dryer after it’s drip dried and dry it on hot for a few minutes to ‘reactivate’ the DWR. I heard somewhere that that helps?
I take all the pads out before I wash it. A front load is better for the gear, but I never use one.